The more established age furnished us with a liberal load of instructive. Expressions that have moved toward becoming something of fables are asking of us: “You will carry on seriously – I will give that lady over”, “You won’t leave the table until you complete it”, “Everybody will bounce from the rooftop – and You will go?”. For what reason ought to these (and comparable expressions) never tell your youngster? Give us a chance to think about models.
“All children are like children, and you are forever …”
And then any unflattering characteristic. But here’s the thing: things have no properties, and people have no qualities. We attribute them based on our experience, and the child will forever remain with this self-image. An adult (author / mom / dad / teacher), authoritative for him, who previously gave exclusively correct information, sentenced him to sloth / stupidity / clumsiness. Okay, so have to live with it.
Before calling a child lazy, sloppy, clumsy, it is important to understand that he is only in a particular system of relationships. At school, in the yard, with you. In another system (with different rules, conditions, people), it would have been perceived differently. It is better to think about how to create favorable conditions for the manifestation of the best qualities of the child. So grow winners.
“Because I said so (a)” or “They will have their own children – then we’ll talk”
With these phrases we emphasize that the relationship between parents and children is between the boss and the subordinate: the parent is always right, he is not ready to hear his child if he offers something uncomfortable for him.
The child understands it this way: if something is brewing that is contrary to the will of the mother or father, it is better to hide it, because the parents will not take your side. Because of such cues, parents and children lose their trusting relationships in the family once and for all.
Well, if against such a relationship the child will rebel. And if not? He will not be able to take responsibility for his life – he will always look for “bosses” and serve other people’s goals.
Do not be silly!
It seems to us that with the help of these words we make sure that the child “includes the brain”, and then we are surprised at its isolation, fear of public speaking. From a child who fearfully fears to “stupidly,” a man grows up who does not sleep at night, scrolling through his memory of his unsuccessful phrases, inventing more suitable replicas and better plot development of past quarrels.
Will he be confident? Would you consider yourself clever? No, he will take any wise thought as a norm, but for the slightest mistake, he will reproach himself for the rest of his life. These phrases hurt the self-esteem of an emerging personality.
What will people say?
A phrase that shouts that there is nothing more important than evaluating other people. A person who is equal to the opinions of others around him will never be free in his work. So, it will never be great.
The criteria for his happiness will always be somewhere outside, but not inside himself. If your goal is to bring up a great and happy person, you will have to forget about this phrase first. Do not enclose the child in the framework set by society.
Take care of the business!
This phrase is the last on our list, but not the last in terms of danger. It is forbidden to say it if you want to grow a person who is passionate about life.
If a child with thirst waits for a new release of the series, if he talks about the passing of the game with fire in his eyes, at this moment he learns not to “waste time”. He learns to get involved, to live with interest.
If you do not use these and similar phrases in your speech, your child has every chance to grow up happy and grateful to their parents. Listen to what you are telling your child, what people mean to him say. The guitar teacher, trainer, and tutor in school subjects — all these people teach the child not only music, sports, and preparation for exams — they teach him to love or not love life.