Very young children need to learn a lot. But there are days, months, years. Your baby becomes independent, large and almost adult. Now the main thing a child needs is faith in its strength. She identified three basic principles that will help parents provide their children with the necessary support.
Principle one: Customize your child for success
Your expectations should be such as to help your child demonstrate how adult he has become; so that in order to achieve them he had to try a little more than he was used to, but so that it would be feasible for him. Thus, when the child succeeds, he will have confidence in his ability to do something good on his own. In case of failure, do not let the child assume that he has failed. Instead, pay attention to what he did right, and if possible help him understand what can be done differently or better next time.
Principle two: Praise the child for his achievements, but focus on the efforts, not the result
Praise strengthens the child’s self-esteem, but correct praise helps him learn an important lesson about how much effort is needed to achieve the goal. It is smarter to state: “You worked admirably with the planning of the report”, at that point: “You are so cunning”.
Emphasize in praise the relationship between achievement and effort, and do not write off this success at the expense of “natural” or internal characteristics.
Praise should relate to the quality of achievement, and not be based on the assessment that the child received from someone. For example, it is better to say: “I am proud of how you wrote this dictation” than: “I am proud that you got the top five for dictation.”
The third principle: Do not be too intrusive
An important factor in raising a happy, healthy and successful child is his sense of self-sufficiency and progress. Undoubtedly, it is important for the child to know that the parents are always with him and are ready to help, but it is equally important for him to understand that there are many situations with which he will cope completely.
If you try to control every little thing in a child’s life and not give him the opportunity to do something himself, he will never have confidence in his own abilities. By and large, the only way to help a child develop a steady skill of self-control is to give him the freedom to make his own decisions, even if in some cases it will lead to failure or disappointment.
Proper education requires a balance between engagement and the provision of autonomy. At any extreme – and when parents overprotect the child, and when they are not interested in his life – his mental health suffers.
In each situation, parents must find a compromise between the advantages (to intervene and protect the child or help him) and disadvantages (the child is deprived of the possibility of personal growth, which is a result of independence).
With teenagers is not easy, agree. But if we are as sensitive as possible and unconditionally believe in the success of the grown-up child (and yes, it will certainly transmit this thought to the child), you can build a trusting and lasting relationship with him.